May 27th

Sunday we started BCP . We have made the decision that at least for the next year we will do that and then see how we are dealing. Right now with DH having his medical stuff we are just overwhelmed. So as of now we are done trying  and it breaks my heart. I just want to be holding my babies. Not sitting here, going to a counselor trying to work through my grief of yet another lost angel, taken to soon. I think tonight is just a rough night. I just miss them alot right now. I realized today that next week would have been my 3rd trimester mark. Perhaps that is what is really got me down tonight....perhaps.